Asking for Help – 7 Key Benefits

Remote and hybrid working is on the increase, and whilst this can cause the challenges of asking for help to intensify, collaboration with colleagues is even more critical.

Research: ResilienceBuilder® Assessment Tool

In our research using the ResilienceBuilder® Assessment Tool, 29% of all people surveyed triggered ‘Asking for help’ as an area for development, with greater prevalence in individuals with low resilience levels (80%), compared to 40% of those with average resilience and 9% of those with strong resilience. When ‘asking for help’ was triggered, the incidence of low self-confidence, low self-esteem and lack of an established network was also greater.

What has stopped you asking for help in the past?

It signifies weakness or incompetence

People are often unwilling to ask for help, believing it to be a sign of weakness or incompetence, or that it exposes shortcomings which they worry may ultimately lead to losing credibility or control of a project or situation. Sometimes pride drives people to try to achieve things single-handedly, in a desire to portray themselves as capable and self-reliant.

The fear of judgement or reputational damage

People fear being judged by colleagues, or jeopardising their professional reputation, and this reluctance to ask for help can cause feelings of stress and anxiety. They may not know who to turn to, may lack the necessary social skills to ask, or fear rejection, embarrassment, being a burden, or are concerned about what someone may want in return.

A strength — not a weakness

It’s important to recognise that asking for help is not a sign of weakness, but a strength. It takes courage to acknowledge our limitations and seek help from others. Research has shown that individuals who are willing to ask for help are often perceived as more confident and capable by their colleagues.

Growth mindset and resilience

No one can know everything, and seeking help is a sign of a growth mindset, essential to developing and maintaining resilience. By reaching out to others we expand our knowledge and skills as well as enhancing professional relationships and fostering a sense of teamwork and collaboration. When we demonstrate trust and respect for others’ expertise, we strengthen our connections and create a supportive work environment.

Acknowledge your limitations

Seeking support isn’t a weakness — it’s often the difference between success and failure, and can prevent costly or embarrassing mistakes. To feel fulfilled and be successful both personally and professionally, it’s important to acknowledge and accept when you are working beyond your own capacity, and be open to asking others for help.

Self-awareness and self-confidence

By asking for help you demonstrate self-awareness, self-confidence and an understanding of shared goals. Drawing on other people’s skills can benefit you and the wider organisation. By requesting help, you drive the giving-receiving cycle — the long-term goal is to give and receive help in equal measure.

Challenging your assumptions — the psychology of asking for help

According to a Stanford University study, people are almost always more willing to help than you think. Fear of being an inconvenience means people underestimate the satisfaction others get from helping — rather than being a negative imposition, providing help increases the helper’s wellbeing.

Aligned to this is the ‘Franklin Effect’ — a psychological phenomenon where people often feel more kindly disposed towards someone who has asked them for a favour (first identified by Benjamin Franklin). Asking a colleague for help is a form of flattery: you’re demonstrating that you respect their skills and are comfortable being open with them.

Rather than being an admission of weakness or appearing incompetent, asking for help can make you appear more competent in others’ eyes — the findings of a 2015 study, particularly when the task is difficult and when people seek advice personally. Finally, the ‘illusion of transparency’ is a cognitive bias that leads people to believe others can see when we need help — and since they are not offering, there’s no point asking, as they are obviously unwilling. In reality, they are likely unaware.

What to consider when asking for help

Firstly, is the task your responsibility, and do you have the skills and knowledge needed to complete it? By speaking up early you avoid doing the job badly or making mistakes that will take time and resources to fix. If the task clearly belongs to someone else, tell them politely and explain your reasoning. If you don’t understand the goals, parameters, or mechanics of a task, or you feel you lack the appropriate skill set, ask your team leader for advice.

Secondly, consider the deadline. If it’s urgent and you either lack the skills or have insufficient time to do this alone, taking into account your other commitments, ask for help immediately. With a longer timescale, you may see this as a learning opportunity, under the direction of a more experienced colleague, or something to brainstorm at the next team meeting.

Thirdly, take some time to evaluate the task before getting others involved — by being creative or automating part of it to increase efficiency, you may discover you can achieve it without help.

Deciding who to ask, and next steps

Assess the resources, knowledge or skills that you need. This may be available within your team, your professional network, or a mentor or coach — you could use their expertise, delegate part of the task, or get the necessary training yourself.

Use the right communication channel — face-to-face, phone, or email — depending on your location, how well you know the person, and the nature of the request. Define their proposed involvement clearly and specifically, and let them know the timescales. Broad requests can be useful too, but make sure the purpose is clear.

Highlight why you are asking them in particular, don’t pressure them to agree, and thank them when they do. Don’t apologise for asking, as it will undermine your self-confidence — often people will be flattered to be asked, and it gives them a chance to showcase their skills or increase their confidence by teaching someone else. This fosters a culture of cooperation, interconnectedness, and psychological safety.

The consequences of not asking for help

Consequences to the individual:

• The quality of our work is compromised.
• Reputational damage.
• Deadlines are missed.
• We experience stress, anxiety, and burnout.
• Professional growth is hindered since we limit our ability to acquire new skills.

Consequences to the team and organisation:

• Projects may be delayed.
• Errors may occur that need time and resources to correct.
• Reputational damage.
• Overall productivity is impacted.

7 key benefits of asking for help

• It enables you to move forward more quickly.
• Connects you with other people.
• Builds trust and relationships with colleagues.
• You gain new skills, valuable perspectives and enhanced problem-solving abilities, leading to better outcomes now and in the future.
• Allows us to tap into others’ knowledge and experience.
• Increases your productivity and makes you a more effective team member.
• Increases self-confidence, self-efficacy and resilience.

5 actions employers and employees can take to encourage ‘asking for help’

• Encourage a supportive, inclusive, and collaborative work culture where asking for help becomes a natural part of the learning process, rather than something to be avoided, where everyone is invested in each other’s success.
• Implement mentorship programmes where new and existing employees can learn from more experienced colleagues or other professionals.
• Lead by example — as a manager or team leader, actively seek assistance when needed.
• Provide training and resources on effective communication and interpersonal skills, and foster a culture where asking for help is seen as a strength.
• Recognise when individuals do ask for help — this positive feedback will encourage others to do so.

How asking for help can enhance resilience

Support systems — strong social and professional connections are a key cornerstone of resilience. Asking for help fosters stronger relationships, a sense of community, and a support network, and encourages a culture of collaboration and mutual support. Emotional support helps individuals cope in challenging situations, and practical assistance leads to practical solutions and shared workload, enabling individuals to overcome setbacks.

Learning and growth — by asking for help, individuals gain access to new perspectives and expertise, which enhances problem-solving abilities and innovation. This acquisition of new skills or knowledge builds resilience and empowers individuals to handle future challenges more effectively.

Reduced stress and burnout — asking for help may result in delegating tasks or sharing responsibilities, preventing overwhelm or burnout. Maintaining a manageable workload and a good work-life balance are essential components of resilience.

Building a resilient mindset — resilience relies on having a growth mindset where challenges are seen as learning opportunities rather than obstacles. A psychologically safe work culture that encourages asking for help can empower and motivate you to step outside your comfort zone. Challenging yourself in this way builds your confidence in how you handle failures or setbacks, and builds your resilience.

Feedback and adaptation — asking for help can elicit constructive feedback which helps individuals adapt and improve, key components of resilience. Receiving help can introduce new strategies for dealing with problems and enhance an individual’s ability to adapt to changing circumstances.

Conclusion

Global matrix organisations depend upon employee collaboration, and having the courage to ask for help is critical for success and resilience. When was the last time you asked for help?

Book a discovery call to talk about building the confidence and culture that makes asking for help easier across your teams.